I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
two words: eviction party
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
