Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
