her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
