Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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