Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
