I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
