Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
