There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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