hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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