Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
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