where am i from again
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
