I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
