The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
