What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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