Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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