think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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