his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We left the knife in your bed.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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