I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
