Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
