community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Dick very happy bro
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
