So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
