i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
