This girl is more easily done than said...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
