i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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