life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just want to make out with him forever
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
