I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
