Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
