I think my vagina is haunted
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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