C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
