My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
