I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
