remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize