one two three fourrrrnication!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
