im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
