my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
