I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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