i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
