He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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