what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize