I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
