I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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