I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
