She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
