I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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