Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
