Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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