You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
