I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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