Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
