Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
