Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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