just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
