She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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