Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
