I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize