"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
