Pants 0. Shit 1.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
