Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
