No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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