I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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