You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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