"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
