so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
