member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
