is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
